The AD’s third attempt at reading James Joyce’s Ulysses

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When they handed me my degree in English, I was afraid they would say, “Waiiit a minute-have you read Ulysses?” and I would stammer, “Umm well I tried but haven’t gotten past page 37” and they’d snatch it back. Luckily, this didn’t happen. But, as Ulysses was named the best novel of the 20th century, I am going to read it and this time I will get through it.

Now if you have ever tried reading Ulysses before, you have come up against a passage like this:

“that was a relief wherever you be let your wind go free who knows if that pork chop I took with my cup of tea after was quite good with the heat I couldnt smell anything off it Im sure that queerlooking man in the porkbutchers is a great rogue I hope that lamp is not smoking fill my nose up with smuts better than having him leaving the gas on all night I couldnt rest easy in my bed in Gibraltar even getting up to see why am I so damned nervous about that” (Joyce, 736).

Alrighty then. It’s like William Faulkner and e.e. cummings had a bastard child.

Good thing I have help this time- “The New Bloomsday Book: A Guide Through Ulysses” by Harry Blamires (available on www.amazon.com)
Anyone want to sum up the plot for me? Anyone?

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