Just when you thought reality television couldn’t possibly get any worse..

Along comes a show on VH1 called “The Pickup Artist.” Yes, worse than “Flavor of Love”, “I Love New York”, and even “Charm School.” The premise: a former nerd turned suave ladies man (pfftt..sorry, hehe okay let’s be serious now) takes 8 average Joes with no success in dating and promises to turn them into pickup artists too.

Sigh.

Okay first of all, I hate this “Mystery” guy (yeah your real name is Eric Von Markovik). I seriously think he time traveled back to 1998 and went shopping at Allston Beat where he obtained the faux-fur pimp hat, black eyeliner, black nailpolish, (umm it was cool when the Crow did it, but not when you do it), and that god-awful soul patch. And don’t get me started on how corny the whole heroin-chic skinny guys with long hair bit is..

Check out the doofy website here for a good snicker: http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx. And if you’ve got $5,000 to blow, you can take attend one of his bootcamps. Or you could give me $5 and I’ll give you my advice: get some exercise, develop your interests, be confident and be yourself. Oh and pluck the monobrow.

Massachusetts residents: stop the cruelty of Greyhound racing

The folks over at grey2kusa have fought for years to end the cruel sport of dog racing in America. They are organizing a grass-roots effort to flood Governor Patrick’s office with phone calls this Thursday, August 9th to ask him to stop the installation of slot machines used to subsidize dog racing. Greyhounds are beautiful, loving animals (adopt one!) and reading the stories of abuse and pain they undergo is heartbreaking. Forward this info to your fellow animal-loving friends:

__________________________________________________________________________________

Please Call Governor Patrick on Behalf of the Greyhounds

**PLEASE FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO AS MANY PEOPLE IN MASSACHUSETTS AS POSSIBLE. PLEASE CROSSPOST**
WHO TO CALL: Governor Deval Patrick

WHEN TO CALL: Thursday, August 9 between 12:00 PM and 3:00 PM.

PHONE NUMBER: 617-725-4005

WHY: Tell him that you are opposed to using slot machine profits to subsidize dog racing

Weird Jobs

Weird job #1 http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/tfr/390074215.html

While searching for a new job, I have come across some very strange job descriptions, so I have created a new category of postings: Weird Jobs. This one sounds normal: watch an episode of a TV show and tell them what you think. Until… you see the pictures of the SWAT-like vests?!?!

Study: Get paid $50 to watch an episode of a new network TV show starting this fall.
Company: InnerScope Research (http://www.innerscope.com)
To participate, fill out the following short survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=ii9EBIqV4UXmxL1O06OltQ_3d_3d
What we need from you:
* You will wear a health monitoring vest (like a bicycle shirt) under your regular clothing, but over a new T-shirt we provide
* You will watch a new network television show that will air this fall (you may have already seen previews for it)
* You will answer a short survey and some demographic questions
* At the end of the session, we will pay you $50
* Languages: Fluent in English
* Minimal Experience: Have watched American TV for the last 4 years

Saks Fifth Avenue $3,000 shopping spree

Want $3,000 to go shopping at Saks? Then go to http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/ and sign yourself up to receive email notifications from them and you’ll be entered in the sweepstakes. After you have entered, you’ll automatically receive a promotional code for 10% off your next order!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Book 7 Countdown..

Alright all you Harry Potter geeks- yeah you- I see you re-reading Book 6 on the train to work to catch up on the plot in preparation for the July 21st release of the FINAL HARRY POTTTER!! 3 hours, 46 minutes, 53 seconds… watch the countdown on Mugglenet, the best Harry Potter site on the net.

The theories and speculations about Harry’s fate are reaching a fever point. Many think that Harry is doomed to die, because a) the prophecy said that either he or Voldemort must die b) in mythological literature the hero often dies c) so that no one can write “Harry Potter 8″ or some other lame book about what Harry does post-Hogwarts.

The official Artful Dodger guess: Harry doesn’t die. Voldemort does. Dumbledore isn’t really dead. Snape is good. Post your opinions in the comments section above.

We’ll see if I’m right this weekend!

Fun Harry Potter celebrations happening in the Boston area this Friday:

• Harvard Square in Cambridge is going completely insane- find out more info here
• Potterpalooza begins in Coolidge Corner, Brookline at 8:00 PM
• More info here at Boston.com for parties in Salem, Braintree, Boston University

Indian Thriller with English Lyrics!

Just when you think you’ve seen it all-

Happy Bastille Day!

Happy Bastille Day!!

No…more…pah…

 T. J. : We are planning an intervention.

Japan: Land of…

 The fearless group of Artful Dodger Travel Correspondents traveled to the beautiful land of Japan. Here are some photos from their trip. Japan is a land of…

Geishas

Serene temples

Incredibly Confusing Toilets

and Kenny G.?

Another awesome theme park: Dickens World!

Not only is there going to be a Harry Potter theme park, but there is already a Dickens World! Just opened in May 2007, it’s located in Kent, England. It’s like the Theme Park Gods are making my dreams come true. I wonder if there is a character actor walking around as the Artful Dodger!!??

Now if only there were a Louis Vuitton world… well actually you can visit the Louis Vuitton Museum in Asnieres, France, 25 minutes outside of Paris. Or you can just go to the Champs Elysees LV store, aka “The Mothership.”

Five Essential Tips to Losing Weight

Eat less and exercise more. It’s that simple. Trendy diets are a waste of time- your body needs carbs to function properly. Losing weight is hard work and takes time and energy, but these five tips will help you on your way:

1. EAT BREAKFAST. Numerous studies have shown that thinner people eat breakfast. Skipping meals only slows down your metabolism and this makes you overeat at your next meal.

2. Drink water- lots of it. If you feel hungry, drink a glass of water; often we mistake hunger for thirst. If you are still hungry, then eat. Drink 8 glasses of water throughout the day to keep your body functioning at its best.

3. Keep a food journal for one week. Write down every single thing that you eat. Most people underestimate how much they actually eat.

4. Weigh yourself once a day in the morning and record it on www.fitday.com. This is a great website; you can enter in your exercise for the day, say 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3mph, and it will tell you how many calories you burned. You can also enter exactly what you ate, and it will tell you how many calories, fats, protein, and carbs you ate.

5. Incorporate exercise into your daily life. Exercise should be fun- not feel like a chore. A little bit here and there adds up. Try taking the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator. In summer, go for a walk, rollerblade, or swim. In winter try skiing, try a workout video, or sign up for a dance class in your area.

Stay away from diet pills or herbal supplements of any kind (unless prescribed by a doctor). They are not approved by the FDA, and have been shown to cause a wide range of health problems, including heart attacks and can even kill you. Don’t go for the quick fix. The only tried and true way to lose weight and keep it off is by diet and exercise.

Good luck!

Movie Review: The Namesake

I highly recommend The Namesake. Based on the novel by Jhumpa Lahiri, winner of the 2000 Pulitzer Prize, The Namesake follows the Ganguli family from Calcutta to New York.

Starring Kal Penn (Harold and Kumar go to White Castle) as Gogol, the beautiful Indian singer/actress Tabu as his mother, and Irfan Kahn as his father. Directed by Mira Nair (Vanity Fair and Monsoon Wedding).

The story begins in 1970’s Calcutta, India. Ashima and Asook marry and move to New York City. Ashima has a difficult time adjusting to American life, but her loving relationship with her husband smooths the transition. We see their children grow up. Gogol, their eldest son, has a major identity crisis. He is Indian and American and neither- caught between his family and Indian tradition, and the rebellious need to be free, Gogol also has an intense desire to fit into American society. He dates a blonde, WASPy girl named Sam who means well but simply doesn’t understand him. A classic scene is at a party at Sam’s parents’ house, where Sam’s mother introduces him to another guest as “a wonderful Indian architect.” The guest asks Gogol if he was born in India, and talks about a girlfriend that went to India. Gogol can’t be viewed as simply an architect, he is that “Indian architect.” Gogol and Sam later break up, but Gogol finds out in a relationship with a Bengali woman that shared culture is not enough for a successful, loving relationship either.

“We all came out of Gogol’s Overcoat.” Read Gogol’s famous short story here: The Overcoat.

Artful Dodger rating: 4 out of 5 cookies

Amarante is here!

Amarante Vernis items are finally available for sale at Louis Vuitton. Go to Eluxury.com to check them out. This color is divine- a rich dark cherry- and it will make a fabulous fall/winter bag. I can’t decide which I love more- Pomme D’Amour or Amarante…

I’ve been tagged!

Grace has tagged me- check out her interesting and beautifully designed site!

Here are the rules:

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to then report this on their own blog with their 7 things as well as these rules. They then need to tag 7 others and list their names on their blog. They are also asked to leave a comment for each of the tagged, letting them know they have been tagged and to read the blog.

Here are 7 random facts about me:

1. My favorite author is Charles Dickens (hence my nickname)
2. I auditioned for Jeopardy! – still waiting for the callback…
3. I have a slight obsession with Louis Vuitton- I know, you never would have been able to figure that one out on your own.
4. My darling husband and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary soon.
5. My favorite food is Indian.
6. I’m a vegetarian- no meat, chicken or fish, but I do eat eggs and milk. But I’m not a preachy vegetarian, I swear!
7. I like to sing along to commercial jingles.

I am tagging: So Fash’on, The Clotheshorse, I Must Be Dreaming, Self Publishing on the Go, The Sartorialist, I Hate Generic, The Daily Obsession.

Schadenfreude

Pronunciation: 'shä-d^&n-"froi-d&
Function: noun
Usage: often capitalized
Etymology: German, from Schaden damage + Freude joy
: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others

ex. Paris Hilton being sent back to jail to serve out the rest of her sentence fills me with a smug sense of Schadenfreude.